It's a new year and as always, we want to provide you, our readers, with the BEST health and wellness advice. Enjoy our 11 tips on plumping up that tummy!

1. Meow for food in the middle of the night - they will feed you just to get some sleep.

2. Keep an eye on the table and the counters at all times. If people are in the kitchen, that's where you should be too.
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3. Save your hairballs for food you don't like - people can be sooo dense.

4. Try some of those bugs around the house. Palmetto bugs aren't too bad and are fun to chase.

5. Sleep more!

6. Lay around more!

7. Only jump up on the table if it's worth it - ignore all vegetables!

1. Don't just wait - make it happen! For example, it's 7am and the food dish has been empty for hours. Don't just wait around, jump on the bed, scratch at the door, use your words!

2. Focus on the outcome. For example, the humans are going shopping. You want them to return with a bag full of Fancy Feast. Block the door and hit them with a category 5 purr beam when they try and move you.
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3. Know your priorities. Dogs and little kids are not among them.

4. Whats best for you is also what's best for them. Make sure they know that.

5. Figure out what they are thinking so you can manipulate them better. This can be a challenge because human ears don't swivvel.

6. You are supposed to combine some of the other habits into this one. We haven't figured this out yet, but will keep you posted.

7. Sharpen your claws! That's what furniture is for. Don't get sidetracked by those silly scratching posts and cardboard thingies - go for the gold!!

Are you still struggling with your New Years Resolutions to gain more weight? Check out our local weight-gain spa right here in Felinia! The Big Stretch Gym has special memberships available to Wealthy Cat subscribers. Go to their website at FatCatSpas.com and enter your email for a year-long membership and discounts on fattening food!!

Good customer service is not always to your advantage. If you can just pick up the phone any time and reach our support department, doesn't it make you wonder if maybe there's not much going on? But if you have to wait a while, that means the company is doing a lot of business and you are in line with a bunch of other customers. Or, the company is busy growing and expanding, so the support department hasn't kept up with the demand.

If there is a prominent display of a support phone number on the website, that's a terrible signal - it means the company is wasting resources on taking care of customer questions instead of concentrating on their prime directive - MAKE MORE MONEEEE!!

You, as a customer, will feel much better knowing that your needs are barely noticed by this successsful business, and that the employees all have much better things to do than answer the phone!

Hey all you parents out there -

We know you are concerned about how your kittens will succeed in this uncertain economy. So , we are here to give some basic tips, that will help you in your quest to Raise Successful Kittens!

1. Forget about college - teach your kittens CUTENESS! According to famous psychologist Jordan Caterson, the best gift you can give your kittens it to make them irresistibly CUTE. Obliterate humans with the CUTE-ray, scramble their brains with weaponized ADORABLENESS. They will never know what hit them - they will give up their entire house, furniture and sleep schedule to make your kittens happy.

2. Hunting. Don't let your kittens get fat and lazy off cat food. Teach them some life skills. You never know when you will need to grab a bird from a back yard. Make hunting fun and they will always remember it fondly.

3. Teach them the TRUTH about dogs. Dogs are not our friends, no matter how nice they appear to be. Humans have a tendency to favor dogs, and there's a lot of rubbish out there about how dogs and cats can be buddies - make sure your kittens the basics: Dogs drool, cats rule!