Hey all you parents out there -

We know you are concerned about how your kittens will succeed in this uncertain economy. So , we are here to give some basic tips, that will help you in your quest to Raise Successful Kittens!

1. Forget about college - teach your kittens CUTENESS! According to famous psychologist Jordan Caterson, the best gift you can give your kittens it to make them irresistibly CUTE. Obliterate humans with the CUTE-ray, scramble their brains with weaponized ADORABLENESS. They will never know what hit them - they will give up their entire house, furniture and sleep schedule to make your kittens happy.

2. Hunting. Don't let your kittens get fat and lazy off cat food. Teach them some life skills. You never know when you will need to grab a bird from a back yard. Make hunting fun and they will always remember it fondly.

3. Teach them the TRUTH about dogs. Dogs are not our friends, no matter how nice they appear to be. Humans have a tendency to favor dogs, and there's a lot of rubbish out there about how dogs and cats can be buddies - make sure your kittens the basics: Dogs drool, cats rule!